A couple of days ago I was waiting in line in a store. Something had fallen off a display onto the ground. The woman in front of me promptly looked down and simply kicked the object out of her way. When I was able to move up to her where she was standing I bent down, picked up the object, and placed it back on the display. Not because I could, but because I should. It took me three seconds.
While waiting in line in a different store I watched as a customer who was unable to use a coupon gave it to the woman who was waiting behind her. I thought, "Wow, that was nice." The new recipient of the coupon happily watched as her goods were scanned and then passed her newly received coupon along to the cashier. After the final payment the woman scanned her receipt and asked why she did not get 40% off her entire purchase instead of just one item (the coupon that she did not have when she walked in to the store, but was graciously given while in line was only for one item). She left the store disappointed.
Now, if I was a more aggressive person I would be the one yelling, "Hey, rather than kick that thing so someone can slip on it, pick it up!" or "Lady, you just got a free coupon, take what you can get." But, I watch, and I listen, and I just take it all in. Then, I wonder. I ponder. I reflect.
It seems as if the term "random acts of kindness" is right on the money. I am not sure when kindness, graciousness, and overall consideration was thrown out the window, but it seems as if these acts have indeed become random.
But it does not have to be this way...
When you come across something that is out of place, return it to where it should go. When you enter a building, glance behind you to see if you should hold open the door.
When you come across something that you know would make a friend happy, pick it up for them.
When you encounter a gracious act or a kind person, be gracious and kind right back.
And, when you encounter someone who is neither, be the bigger person and treat others how you would like to be treated.
36 comments:
I work at a restaurant as a hostess, so you can definitely say I come across a lot of people and I always love watching them, and never fail to be astoished at their disrepect.One time, a family left because I was "rude" because I didn't know where to sit them, every table seemed to have a problem for them. One was in an area that was too loud, one was bad because it wasn't a booth, the booth was too close to the kitchen and it was like this for every table. So I finally said, "I'm sorry but there is no where else I can seat you, we're on a wait and I have to get back to work so which table would you like?" They didn't say anything and just walked out and I felt like saying "Thank you, you're doing us a favor!"
However, sometimes there are people that are so nice that it amazea me. I always love when I seat people and they are complacent with any table they get.
Another thing the other hostesses and I do at work that would be considered random acts of kindness is something that might be cheesy but it in fact makes the servers day better. When a table is bussed we are given the check books with the receipts, and when a server is disconcert or having a bad day we open the check and write "Thank you, you were a great server! :)" It never fails at making them smile and boosting their ego a little when they need it. It's a secret though, they don't know we do that so shhh!
I totally agree. It seems that these random acts of courtesy are slowly bur serely diminishing. I like to commit these random acts regularly. As you can see, the student parking lot is a mess and it seems to me that all friendships end at the parking lot gates. Cutting people off, you name it. And even getting in and out is a hassle because of our large school. So, once a day I like to do my part and stop and let atleast 2 cars ahead of me despite the angry cries from the people behind me. Keep at it Stoklosa.
So what you are trying to say is "TO PAY IT FOWARD"
I have always believed that random acts of kindness can be very powerful. Just acting friendly, or doing something nice for others could be one of the bests things that would benefit everyone-including yourself. Whenever I am nice to someone, or do something that I should, I always feel like I had done a good deed, and seeing a smile that I made makes me feel like I can make a difference. Random acts of kindness can brighten someone's entire day, and make others realize that there are people out there who care. I think that this is not only a powerful thing, but also important, because if everyone did this, then imagine how bright the world could be. Oh and also, if a cashier says 'hi! how are you?", uh..it would be nice to reply like a natural human being. Just saying . I am a cashier!
Wow!!! This is totally true. Many people had just forgotten about the manners and acts of kindness. Sometimes when I walk my dog I see many people go by. I’m also very quite and just look and analyze inside my head, so I do not say anything but some of tem don’t even smile back when I smile to them.somtething so simple of saying "good morning", which doesn’t even take 3 seconds, they cannot do. This is not the worst thing, the worst thing is that so many people are getting used to others being like that that they are accepting it without a problem but that is not the way it should be. Us that see what is going on should try and make a difference.
i have to agree with everything you mentioned in your blog. It seems to be that society these days(especially teenagers) have forgotten the gesture of kindness especially to your elders. However, it seems to be that its very easy to act like you habve manners and what some may call "good home training" but its very easy to be a jerk with good home training and then you dont seem like a jerk and that also ties into being rudely sarcastic. I feel as though people feel the neesd to disregard their manners and replace them with sarcasm.I also do i agrere though that you should treat people the waay way they would like to be treated because tyou have to give respect and kindness to get it back. Which some may argue has alot to do with karma.
I planned to write an article in the newspaper about how rapidly benevolence was diminished. In the "Me Generation," it seems that a simple act of kindness has become all too "commonplace" to the point that it's "not cool." In a generation where independence is supposedly the biggest fad, maybe kindness doesn't fit into this highly regarded "independence." Quite ironically, in order to be independent now, kindness is something to try out...
It's a bit disappointing really. From a family who instilled a sense of respect, it becomes kind of annoying when you say a kind word and commit yourself to being kind and people don't return the favor. It hurts. A lot. Hopefully people will realize that acts of kindness shouldn't be "random." They should be common always and forever.
This made me reflect because it made me realized that not only people I find in the streets are rude, but I am rude myself sometimes. For example, a few days ago I was entering my house and saw a neighbor that I had never seen walking by. I decided to ignore her but then she said, hi good evening. I felt so bad because she was trying to be nice so I had to salute her back. I know is difficult to be kind always but a nice act of courtesy, like a simple thank you can help some people smile and can even make you smile yourself. So next time I'm in the streets I will have that in mind... if I remember.
It really is a shame, all of these situations happen...all the time. Especially the one where the lady drops the thing then kicks it and keeps going. However my personal favorite situation that I have witnessed is this: So we're at Wal-Mart (typical place for this to happen) this cart is in the way so this dude on a phone and just pushes it out of the way, right into the path of this lady. So she has stop, then she takes it and moves it over to the side so it's in nobodys way. I saw this whole thing go down while trying to get some toothpaste, I just shook my head.
I had read your blog, and a couple of days later the opportunity came up to follow through with what you had proposed. My elderly neighbor was putting up his lights, and it was obvious to me he had been struggling with his ladder. So, although I could of just walked passed him and fallen asleep on my couch watching that's 70's show, I decided to help him out. It only took a couple of hours, in which he shared some of his life stories, and we got to know each other better. I guess I had never taken the time to know this person, someone who lived right next to me yet I only saw as a stranger. I think this tied in with what you had blogged about before, the theory of "Sharism".
I guess if we all took the time to get to understand the people that surround us, the world wouldn't be such a dull place.
On the day of thanksgiving, a family friend came to my house to visit because we haven't seen him recently. About a few minutes later we heard the ice cream truck come around so we all went outside to buy some. There was this old woman who was standing in front of her door just watching. He noticed her intense stare and asked her if she wanted ice cream. She began to speak and we realized she didn't speak English, she spoke Portuguese. After about 5 minutes of negotiating she gave in to the free ice cream my friend was offering. She said something in English that touched my heart which was "Thank God, and may He bless you throughout your years to come.” I was so touched because she was pleased and all it took was an act of random kindness.
I know exactly what you're talking about. Today, there was an extreme lack of kindness. I'm in New York now and its Black Friday. On the news, I keep hearing about an incident in Wal-Mart where an employee was killing by being trampled by customers looking for bargains. This is sad on so many levels. It says so much about our society. Out of all these people, enough to kill one man and seriously injure other people including a pregnant woman, not one of them thought to help anyone. To make it worse, after this happened, the other employees tried to stop people from shopping so they could deal with the situation and people complained! I have never heard of such blatant inconsideration for others. People are so obsessed with their own lives that they care more about their Christmas shopping than the life of innocent bystanders.
There was not a better a way to end your post than with the golden rule. "Treat others how you would like to be treated." I feel like I'm in elementary school again. It's strange that we are taught from a young age to act this way, yet we stray away from "kindness, graciousness, and overall consideration." This mantra is instilled in us by our parents and teachers in the hope that we take it beyond the home and the classroom. Spread kindness in your community and workplace as well. You can do it individually or with a group. It doesn't matter what way you do it, as long as you do it. As George Bernard Shaw put it, "Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness."
Since I was a child, my parents have been able to inculcate in my siblings and me the sense of good morals and kindness. When you have the capability to treat the people around you with respect and kindness, you are not only setting a positive attitude for the rest of the day for yourself, but for the people around you. And those who you helped somehow will try to spread that act of kindness among every person they meet.
When someone is not having a good day, they let those negative feelings take over your thoughts, making them treat others in a rude way. If it was to be the opposite, they would be able to set aside those problems aside and create a new positive attitude that would help them go through the rest of the day with less stress. I say all of this to show how helpful and act of kindness, and positive actions, which both lead to similar outcomes.
I have to agree. Random acts of kindness are slowly fading away. I notice this every day when I'm out at a store or at my work. I work as a bus boy in a restaurant, so I come across a lot of people. This one time a family was sitting at their table and one of the family members knocked over an empty soda bottle. The one who knocked it over just looked at it for a brief second then went on carrying her business. These are just the little things that I see that makes me wonder why people don't have common courtesy. Whenever, I have a chance to do something for someone else I seize the opportunity. For example the other day I was in Wal-mart and an old man on a motorized cart was struggling to get something off the shelf. I saw this and went over to the man and helped him get the item from the shelf. I believe people should do something good for others at least once a day and sooner or later something good will happen to you.
This is so true. When people get things there very thankful there always looking to get more. They can't enjoy what there getting even if its 40 percent off one item. Also, the women who droped the item on the floor didn't respect the store is a lazy person. People should learn that the little things do count.
I agree with you too Mrs. Stoklosa. Kindness is something that you do not see regularly today. Today people are more selfish and back stabbing. Their are also a lot of jealousies that take place. That is why a lot of courtesy doesn't happen. For instance the other day I was in the store and drop the water case. The man next to me just simplely didn't pick it up. He gave me a smirk and left. I felt that he should have helped, but he wasn't kind enough.
Lately, there isn't any kindness at all...Not just on a supermarket, anywhere. I've been working at a pre-school for over five months, for service hours. There are two kids that are ALWAYS the last ones that get picked up. Their mother, not only is she wasting our time, but there hasn't been one day when she has said "thanks", or "I’m sorry". When she gets to school half an hour late, she just enters, gets her children, and leaves...
Today, it seems, everybody is becoming tense and rude in everything they do. On Black Friday, a Wal-Mart employee was sent to open their doors to the crowds waiting outside. Upon opening the door, they trampled the employee and he eventually died. That's completely ridiculous!
I don't understand why people find it so difficult to help others. There are so many people in this world who do care, but they seem to be outnumbered by those who do not. Yesterday I was driving to work and I couldn't get over this one man's driving. He happened to be traveling in the same direction as I was, so I was able to watch him almost the whole way to work. First, he blatantly cut someone off in hopes to speed ahead, only to have to stop just like the rest of us at a red light. Then, the two lanes merged into one, and he was so stubborn in not letting anyone in front of him, even though there was no other choice for the merging cars. It's just ridiculous and unbelievable to me that some people just care for themselves so much more than others.
I have always been, and always be, a great supporter and believer in acts of random kindness. Not because I expect anything from anyone, but I have come to learn that people treat you the exact same way you treat them, so it's always convenient to treat people around the same as you would want to be treated and respected. And the same applies to everyday life. Depending on what you do, you will always receive an opposite and greater result out of it, be it good or bad. Call it karma, but the truth is I don't entirely believe in karma, but rather the power of kindness in your actions and how its consequences can make you happier.
Random acts of kindness is something that just makes you feel good inside yourself. It is noticable that they are slowly becoming less and less which is a shame. One simple deed can make someones day. Sometimes its the little things that matter more than anything. Simply choosing to kick something out of the way is a lack of respect and courtesy. We should all have random acts of kindness. It just makes us feel good about ourselves as people.
I completely agree with you. Random acts of kindness are on the rapid decrease in todays society and I just don't understand it. I don't understand how you can not leave things the way you found them, or how you could ruin something and not apologize or offer to pay for it or how even how you could clearly tell that there was an elderly man who needed help crossing the street and just blatantly ignore them. Even by just holding the door open for the family behind you can brighten someone's day just by saying "hey, you're not alone. i'm here to help" and this can really make a difference in many people's outlook on life.
I believe that we should all do these "random acts of kindness." i have to admit that some of the examples mentioned I have done before. On more than one occasion I have thrown my garbage on the floor rather than in the garbage can. I have also not picken up something off the floor when I know I should. The true reason why I do this is pure laziness. I know that I should do the right thing but I don't. Yet almost everytime I will be respectful with others. I always hold the door for ladies and my elders. I always let the older people out of the elevator first rather than myself. I am constantly trying to do these "acts of kindness."
The common act of a "Mitzvot"- an act of kindness is one of the biggest teachings in the Jewish faith, and from a very young age respect and kindness was taught in my household. It bothers me to see people my age so oblivious to their current surroundings. No one stops to help that mom looking for a present for her son, or even just to hold the door open for an old lady; just to be what, independent? Now, our society is losing its lack of moral judgment and it is painful to watch when even some of your friends, even best friends do not understand that kindness can go a long way.
This posting reminds me of that Liberty Insurance commercial! Unfortunately, that's what this world has become, a society in which you're out for yourself and nobody else, and it doesn't matter to anybody what kind of damage you do to others as long as you meet their objective.
Random acts of kindness are indeed diminishing. Many people in this world are selfish and do not take the time to care about others or for other things. In this case when someone does perform an act of kindness I find that it should be greatly appreciated. Yet some people such as the lady with the coupon take kindness for granted and are always wanting more.
Although I hate to admit that this is a perfect post for the holidays, this is a perfect post for the holidays. Regardless of the fact that "The holidays" has become a capitalists consumer hungry advertisement happy field day for corporate yuppies, this story has reset my holiday clock. Most people would find it disheartening to see a woman kick the object away like that, or complain that she couldn't save even more money than she'd been gifted to save. This teaches me to not look at it negatively, but learn from this woman's behavior, and not to be one of those ungrateful pigs who step all over their surroundings, but to restore the pleasantness of our atmosphere. For example, instead of breaking into someone's house and robbing them on thanksgiving, break into someone's house and leave them little presents. That would be much more socially positive.
I agree with Colin when he says that random acts of kindness are slipping away from society. People nowadays are concerned solely about themselves.
When maing a statement as bold as that we must also take into account that our country is slowly emerging from huge economic crisis' and that it was in-fact "black friday", a day when all the epinephrin enters a womens body all at one time creating "the shopping zone" which disables many womens' abiity to think and act rationally.
Things like holding the door for someone, even a stranger, I would consider to be common courtesy. But I do agree that acts of kindness have become random, less predictable, and overall less common. I have already expressed to you how I feel about how friendly the people here in Florida are.
A lot of the time I get the urge to point out people's mistakes, like the hypothetical more aggressive version of you. Sometimes I do, but to be fair I'm not always the nicest person, I don't always do absolutely everything I can to benefit my fellow man, and I don't think anyone really does.
It is true, many people are ignorant to kindness in this world. That is the sad reality of what has become America. On another note, I vaguely remember a "kindness" commercial where helping was contagious. The moral from the ad was: It takes one person to inspire others to help. But that doesn't mean to shout down those who don't do good deeds. Instead, congratulate those who do good deeds and don't bother with the ignorant.
This is a perfect post! The random acts of kindness that have always been present are becoming antiquated and this is a huge problem. I was taught, growing up, respect and manners. If most people, not everybody but most people, could just step up and do the correct thing we would all be much better off.
The story is always helping the little old lady with her little old walker to walk across a street. This is an example that is kind but most of the time is unrealistic, I mean how many little old ladies stand on corners with walkers and grocieries? No many. But it can be a smaller thing such as holding the door open for someone or when someone drops something help them to pick it up.
With it being the holiday time of year, places should be joyus and fun but it seems that it is rude and rough. People are rushing through stores to buy presents and not caring about their neighboors. In small towns across this nation, while walking down the street everybody that you cross gives a smiling hello and you return this pleasing greeting but South Florida, not so much. People walk in their own neighboorhoods and get vicious glares from neighboors or neighboors just ignore one another. This is a problem and needs to change. People need to stop worrying about themselves only and start chipping in to make this community a happy place to live, where everybody greets everybody and life is relaxed and happy rather than chaos and rude.
I agree with you that many people need to learn to be more respectful and be more kind to their surroundings. Whether it is people or objects. I know that I am not the best at being kind sometimes, but when I notice that something is out of place or maybe I’m being a little too selfish at that moment, I try to fix it. Not everyone is perfect at being kind, but I try my best to be.
It baffles me that people can be so inconsiderate of others around them or the places they go. I walk around school and become so aggravated to see garbage thrown on the ground. I don’t understand why people find it so difficult to take two extra second and find their way to a trash can, or put something back where they got it as opposed to stuffing it in the nearest shelf they find. In my opinion, society today has become selfish and just plain lazy. I honestly do my best to show common courtesy to everyone. I say "thank you" very often, "sorry" and "excuse me" if I bump into someone, and "please" even for the smallest favor. I take the time to hold the door open and put things where they belong. People now a days do things because they can. If someone throws something outside the car window I get angry and tell them not to litter. They reply, “This is Weston, we have people to pick that garbage up". It seems that some people have truly lost total respect for anything and everything around them. I’m curious as to how people can have a total disregard for common manners and human decency. Both kindness and courtesy is no longer expected, people just do it when they feel like it.
Unfortuneately, I have to say that I would be one of those people who would just kick it so I didnt have to bend down and pick it up, but I also do "random acts of kindness" as well. It seems to really bother me when I am in a store and something falls or is dropped and they don't pick it back up. You dropped it, you pick it up. I used to just leave it there as well, but I have come to realize that I was being just being lazy. Taking that extra 2 or 3 seconds will not only make you feel better, but could effect everyone else as well.
What a great point you have their Mrs Stoklosa. I think we all are guilty of being selfish and kicking that book on the floor, or settling for the lesser gift because it is cheaper. But I dont think many people do take the second to bend down and pick that book up or giving a little extra for a freind. I have found that going out of your way and making someone else happy, makes you happy believe it or not. Sooner or later these things start to build up into a reputation, then into the way you live and it becomes something your known for and will always be able to be proud of.
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